Choosing to Let it Go

I received an email exchange Friday morning in my professional job role that really upset me upon first reading.  I won't get into the details of who it involved or what it was about, but suffice it to say that the comments made by this particular individual were very disappointing to me --especially in their leadership position.  My mind began to spring to action, drafting the best response I could think of to counter the arguments.  After all (in my own mind) they were completely wrong and we were right!

But then, I stopped...

I chose just  not to respond.  Why?  The email exchange really didn't deserve a response.  Enough information was enclosed in the response to give my team what we needed to do our job.  It has become clearly obvious that continued dialog with this individual in situations like this only makes the matter worse.  Sometimes, you just have to let it go.

This is a new behavior for me.  I'm clearly a  perfectionist who tends to immediately want to fix everything and do whatever I can to keep the peace.  Letting things go does NOT come easily for me!

I've been following Chris Foreman's blog lately and admire his artfully illustrated mind maps.  Recently he posted a great piece on the art of non-reaction.

How true this is!  Paul starts his blog post off, "Twenty seconds of thinking can ruin your day, only if you let it."  I read that email right before going into a huge presentation.  My first feelings were of irritation and disbelief.  Luckily my presentation consumed my morning though, taking my thoughts elsewhere quickly.  By the time I returned to my desk in the afternoon and was able to catch up with my staff member, the situation in my mind had somewhat distilled itself.  He and I still could not believe the choice of words, but agreed it was best to just leave things alone and do what we needed to do to get our work done.

Sometimes, inaction is more powerful than action.  At this point, I'm still learning about my audience in this particular client group.  Quick reaction is not going to better position my team to provide better support to them.  There is another side to the story after all and I'm doing my best to understand the thoughts behind the words and actions they've chosen.  Over time I'm confident the partnership between these functions will improve.  It will take time though and sometimes patience is not easy to come by -- for either side.

So, in this situation, we consciously chose not to join an argument or follow non-productive thinking.  A response may still be in order when I return to the office Monday morning.  But at least taking a few moments to pause has helped me look at the bigger picture and not react purely out of emotion.