Water is Life

     I bet there’s something very special about living in Tampa Bay many people don’t realize. Even if they drive across any one of our bay-side bridges every day, I bet they still don’t realize this simple truth.  But that’s OK. Someone else had to point it out to me too.

Moon Rising Over Old Tampa Bay

     One evening I sat with my husband on our favorite bench overlooking Old Tampa Bay. The sun was setting, casting gorgeous hues of gold, orange, red, and pink all over the buildings of the condo complex where we live. We relaxed after a hard day of stressful work, watching the moon rise above the Bay and the lights of Tampa come up on the horizon in front of us. Then my husband says, “Do you realize with the right vessel, we could go just about anywhere in the world we want to go RIGHT FROM THIS VERY POINT?!” WOW! Water opens up all sorts of possibilities when you take the time to reflect!
     Water has always been an important element to me. I've been fascinated with it since before I can even remember. My mother LOVES to tell how I would react as a toddler any time we would pass a body of water. I would excitedly exclaim and point, “Look, Mom! Look at the wateeeeeee!” Growing up in East Tennessee and taking summer trips to northern Minnesota provided plenty of opportunities for these sightings. Water’s influence on my life was further solidified by being raised as a Southern Baptist in the Bible-belt. There was no sprinkling for me. No sir, I was DUNKED!!

Photo taken from our patio BEFORE a big storm

    In The Notebook Nicholas Sparks wrote “It is life, I think, to watch the water. A man can learn so many things.” What has water taught me? Sparks was right – so many things. Today I want to share a few of those insights around pitch, pace, and perspective.

PITCH

     I’m a musician at heart. With piano and trumpet as my instruments of choice, music has always set an important tone in my life. Different pitches always tickle my ears. Water sings in ranges from soothing and whimsical to frightening and ferocious - from high to low and anywhere in between. Many times I've drifted off in peaceful sleep listening to a gentle rain patter against a tin roof or against the windowsill. Seashells caught in the surf and spilling onto the shore often remind me of playful laughter. Hurricane-force gales have frightened me to wonder if our house might cave in. We learn from both the ups and downs we experience. It’s up to us to stop long enough and listen to the sounds around us.

Photo taken from our patio DURING a big storm

PACE

     Water doesn't stand still, does it? Not unless it’s frozen! Memories of an Ocoee River rafting trip provides a great illustration of life’s pace. At the start of the trip I climbed into the raft with the rest of my friends, nervously hanging onto my paddle as we waited for instruction from our Guide. Off we went as we paddled into the river and picked up the current. A small rapid early in the trip built up excitement for the rest of the ride ahead. Then came the hard work as the current slowed and our Guide kept coaching us to row hard. He must have known we were discouraged when he pointed out a large hawk perched high up in a pine tree alongside the water for a change of pace. Just when we had stopped rowing and were squinting our eyes towards the treetops, we lunged into a larger set of rapids. We paddled even faster until we pulled through on the other side. Afterwards we heard the Guide laughing at us, “That spot, folks, was the ‘Gotcha Rapids!” My favorite part of the whole trip was when we jumped out of the raft and floated along quietly. That little bit of peacefulness wouldn't have been nearly as sweet without those other defining moments however.
     Isn't life like that rafting trip? At some points we cautiously take steps leading in one direction. Prolonged hard work without reward may leave us discouraged. Just when we think we’re making progress - something unexpected happens. In between those difficult moments, there are sweet times to enjoy where we just float along - happy and content, or exhilarated by the accomplishment of finishing the ride.

PERSPECTIVE

     Water’s lessons around perspective resonate the loudest for me. Water cannot be created or destroyed, but merely changes form. Think about a lake. If that lake is in Minnesota, it’s a great place for swimming and fun during the summer. Turn the calendar to January and you’ll see a very different picture. More often than not you’ll see trucks driving out onto that same lake to an ice fishing house that brave person set up. It’s the same lake. It’s the same water in that lake. But the form has changed.
     Have you ever known two different individuals facing a similar situation that react very differently? What makes one person react positively and another negatively? Proactively versus re-actively? What we experience in life often depends upon our perspective.
     The flow of life, like water, is often what you make of it. Think of an old-fashioned hand water pump. Old pumps can require much pumping effort to get the water flowing. Sometimes, our grandparents may have had to “prime the pump” first by pouring water into the well to get it flowing again. Life is no different. The best things in life often require putting in a little extra effort to realize the best results.

     Considering 11% of the world’s population doesn't have access to safe water, it’s obvious that clean water is a precious commodity. Today, think of water as if it were life. Just as dropping a stone into still water causes an expanding ripple, remember your actions have implications to those around you. Life itself is just as precious. Find the element that speaks to you and learn from the lessons it will teach you.

Our Tin Cup Chalices enjoy sunset at the Sandpearl Resort sometimes too

No Safety Nets

This is an adaptation of my 3rd speech project delivered to Jabil Toastmasters on February 7, 2013.  This represented a HUGE personal accomplishment for me.  
I'm still addicted... but gratefully I'm now no longer stuck!

On my way to achieving my Toastmasters Competent Communicator Certification!

     You may not know this just by looking at me... but I'm an addict.  There is something out there that captures my attention so intensely, I struggle to break free.  I can imagine your shocked expression - you're wondering about the source of my addiction.  Is it crack?  Cocaine?  Gambling, maybe?  No -- it isn't as serious as that.  I'm addicted to the written word and I often use it as a safety net.

     I recently joined the Toastmasters club at my current employer and I sailed through my first two speech projects.  I must confess that I cheated somewhat though.  Ten years ago I was part of another local Toastmasters club.  It was easier for me to recycle those first two speeches than it was for me start over from scratch.  I ran into a brick wall ten years ago and it happened again this time.  My biggest challenge with this particular project was to deliver my speech without using any notes.  That unnerved me then and it still did now.

     This time I wanted things to be different.  I was determined to face my fear head on and push through.  No more safety nets!  This project really opened my eyes to some of the "safety nets" in my life and how they limit me.

      What are my safety nets?  The first example I showed the Toastmasters crowd was a bulky binder of my daily planner pages from 2009 - my first full year employed at my current company.  I highlighted that I had six more binders like that back in my cube and even more collecting dust in a bookcase at home.  One of my most obvious safety nets is a drive to take copious notes in all sorts of situations.  Call me a scribe or maybe even a historian.  I love it when someone tells me I have a mind like a "steel trap" or can help set a record straight.  I flagged an entry in that 2009 binder that documented a conversation with a colleague about a potential project in the Ukraine.  Ironically, at this moment she and I are planning again how to support this site.  Did I need these notes to remind me of the situation?  No.  But at that time in 2009 I evidently felt the need to document everything!

     Spreadsheets are another one of my safety nets.  Some people speak a foreign language, but I speak Excel.  I'm not very comfortable adding up things in my head.  It's easier for me to let the spreadsheet do the math for me.  But, they're not fool-proof.  Often I find myself in meetings with senior leaders and they start talking "what if" scenarios and all types of financial jargon.  They think and talk in numbers, often at the same time and without the assistance of a calculator.  Keeping up with that type of thought process challenges me. Spreadsheets make it easier for me.  Unfortunately just as with my copious notes - they can make me lazy too.
     I'm just much more comfortable with the written word.  The habit of writing over speaking has become just that for me - a habit.  There's something therapeutic to me to see handwriting fill up a blank page.  Email is easier because I can pause to better compose my thoughts.  But unfortunately I'm beginning to notice how being so focused on writing sometimes causes me to "check out" of the moment.  Am I really present, truly listening to my audience?  Often not.
     I've thought long and hard about why removing some of my safety nets unnerves me so much.  It all comes down to one simple fact - I'm a perfectionist.  I don't want to forget an important detail or action item.  I want to be able to "figure it out" or to keep up with the thoughts and directions of others.  I fear messing up or letting people down when it really counts.
     Perfectionism can be good - it drives me to excel and perform well.  However, perfectionism can also be paralyzing.  What am I doing about the negative aspects of my perfectionism?  For one, Toastmasters is helping me step outside of my comfort zones.  Toastmasters is a learning forum where many members share working on the same challenges in a safe environment.  Involvement in this organization has helped me to begin relying less on my safety nets.
     I'm also becoming more aware of positive examples other people set.  Have you ever heard of Tony Hsieh?  No?!  Let me rephrase the question for the fashionista in you.  Do you like a great pair of shoes and have heard of a company called Zappos?  I thought so.  Tony Hsieh (pronounced Shay) is the founder and CEO of Zappos.  I heard him speak at the 2011 HR Florida State Conference and found him to be a dynamic and motivating speaker.  He certainly wasn't leaning heavily on any notes or even a teleprompter during his speech.  He captivates his audience by sharing how Zappos strives to deliver a culture of happiness among its employees and customers.
     Hsieh was recently featured in an interview in Toastmasters Magazine.  He shared several thoughts that made me aware I am not alone in being addicted to the written word.  Hsieh started his public speaking career in a similar fashion as I have... painstakingly writing out scripts and memorizing speeches.  His skills gradually improved over time until he suddenly realized something.  It finally occurred to him that nobody knew what he wrote in his scripts or if he skipped over a paragraph or sentence.  From that point he was able to better engage his audience by telling personal stories supporting his message.
     That encourages me because I'm always looking for ways to improve.  I will always have safety nets for sure.  (My beloved husband laughs hilariously every time I tell him I'm setting a goal to go paperless).  Over time though, I hope to make my safety nets smaller and less obvious.  Hsieh's simple 3-point formula is a big help for me to remember where public speaking is concerned:

1. Be passionate.
2. Tell personal stories.
3. Be real.

If Hsieh can overcome his written word addiction, so can I.  I'm growing faster and realizing new-found freedom when I rely less on my safety nets.  I'm finding more self-confidence and am better engaging my audience by truly listening more.  These small changes are helping me confidently prepare to overcome the next round of obstacles.  I look forward to you and others joining me along the way!