Getting Unstuck

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you accomplished absolutely nothing, regardless of how busy you stayed all day long? I've been having a lot of those days so far in 2016 and I often find myself wishing there was a reset button I could push for this year. A simple desk calendar is the most recent reminder of one of many reasons I've been feeling just plain STUCK lately.

March 25th... it's now a month later and my desk calendar is still stuck on that date. Why haven't I taken the 2 seconds to change the date at least one day since that day? Unfortunately that was the date I got the news that my father had suddenly passed away. I must admit there's been little time to take to deal with the shock, let alone to fully process my grief. For some reason, changing the date seems like it would be disrespecting Dad.

I've been stuck on this day for a while now even though comforted by thoughts from my co-workers.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong. ~ Mandy Hale

A few days ago I actually found another paper calendar in my cubicle that needed changing. After realizing well over half the month had already passed, it gave me a great sense of satisfaction to finally turn the page and get myself a little more up-to-date. Suddenly I felt myself able to focus better and to make some progress with the planning activities I had been struggling with. It made me start thinking about finding more ways that might help me get unstuck.

Tara Sophia Mohr shared several great ideas in her article "16 Ways to Get Unstuck." I decided to try out the very first suggestion on her list - finding reasons why a situation is just perfect. The thought that your mind will figure out how if you point it in the right direction just intrigued me. She suggested thinking "This situation is just perfect because..." and then list 5 reasons why. So I tried it, and surprisingly as time went on during my day, I found myself thinking of more than 5 reasons why I found some good things from my Dad's passing. Here are the top reasons that came to mind that are now helping me to get unstuck and begin to process the grief from my Dad's death:

• Through all this, my "baby sister" has risen to new heights and shown what a strong woman she's become while being the point person for most of Dad's final arrangements and tying up so many loose ends. She's shown a new strength I've never seen in her and makes me so proud.
• My sister and I are even closer as we're supporting each other dealing with the challenging situations Dad left behind that need to be addressed.That's a good thing since we live over 700 miles apart and often get caught up in our own lives.
• My husband and I - already extremely close - are even closer. He's been so incredibly supportive and loving as he's tried to comfort me and my sister as we are overwhelmed with settling everything. I couldn't love him more or ask for a better partner in life.
• I've actually cut myself some slack and am continuing to convince myself that it's OK not to be perfect or to not be able to do everything. That's so unlike this "Type A" person I am, but it's helping me manage my stress better.
• I'm even more aware of the importance of getting my own affairs in order sooner than later - even if it's just a little bit at a time. 

My list kept expanding as I thought about some unexpected benefits of my sudden trip home too - like being able to see the beauty of another East Tennessee spring, catching up with family members and a few of my closest girlfriends that came to the funeral or to visit while I was home, and being grateful for help and support from several unexpected folks too. It's amazing how much better a change in perspective did to help me feel like I can now begin to move forward.

Let's go back to my desk calendar and that specific date. March 25th also happens to be my uncle's birthday, so there will always be good in that day. There's no superstition in that date that should keep me stuck there. I love my Dad and will always cherish his memory. It's time to embrace the change and the growth to come. It's time to get unstuck! Maybe my creativity will return more as a result too. One can hope!

It's just one small step changing March to April, but I'm moving forward again!