Like a Bump on a Log

     Wow!  It's been a very long time since I've written anything.  And in my last post I was so gung-ho with writing about all the determination and Finnish sisu that I have.  Where did all that energy of mine escape to?!  Well, I must say over the last few months especially, I've been more like a bump on a log.

So, is it so bad to be a bump on a log?  Evidently I used to think so when I was a little girl.  I'll never forget one conversation between my maternal Grandfather and his brother when I was only in late elementary school.  I had spent the summer in northern Minnesota (Soudan, MN to be exact) for a long extended visit with my Grandma and Grandpa Holm.  This was the first time I was ever "on my own" apart from my parents too... pretty scary stuff for the young person I was at the time.

During that summer I remember spending a lot of time outside the visitors' room in the hospital.  My grandfather was very sick often, and I was too young by the hospital's standards to visit him when he was a patient.  Thankfully for much of the summer he was out of the hospital though.  But, during that time what I remember most about my grandfather was that he was confined to a wheelchair, and he often got tired and was sick.   He tried, but he just didn't have the energy to keep up with the likes of me.  Maybe it's understandable why I really took up with his brother that summer, my Uncle Adolph.  There was something about him that fascinated me.  In spite of severe arthritis and joint replacements, he managed to find ways to stay active and get around... to my young mind, without issue, it seemed.

So, with that backdrop set now, I get back to the conversation I found mortifying as a young girl.  I enjoyed spending much time with my Uncle Adolph, getting to know him and his wife Alvina.  Lord knows what I babbled about during our visits.  At the end of the summer my parents traveled back up north to collect me and bring me home to Tennessee.  We all were having a grand visit before I went home, and somewhere along the conversation my Grandfather commented to me "So, you think that I'm a bump on a log?"

Never in my wildest dreams would I have actually told Grandpa Holm that I thought he was a bump on a log.  There was so much of his life I didn't understand when he was alive... from his illness, to his inability to walk and get around without the use of a walker, to the cancer, to just his serious nature and stern personality.  Sometimes it was intimidating to a kid.  Thankfully I was blessed that Grandpa Holm recorded his testimony on a cassette tape before he passed away.  I've listened to his words and the story of his life over and over for the past 20+ years and have learned so much from his example and faith.  I didn't appreciate him enough when he was alive, when I was so young and just didn't understand.  Only after it was too late did I realize he was never a "bump on a log."   In his own way, he fought to make the most out of the life he was given.  And he blessed so many people in the process.

I've been my own "bump on a log" the last few months... just overwhelmed with life in general -- tons of work, trying to get our taxes filed, and general concerns over family and friends.  My Grandpa Byrd has been on a roller-coaster ride with his health during this time too, and unfortunately (for us) we lost him this past Thursday evening.  I fly home this evening to be with family and attend the funeral.  I'm looking forward to visiting, but am already missing being with my husband.

So, I guess I'm trying to say that now being an adult, I think I understand why sometimes we fall into that lethargic mood.  It's not that we want to enjoy life any less or be less active.  Sometimes life just takes the spirit out of you and it takes a while to refuel your energy again.

The taxes are done now thank goodness and I'm beginning to feel more like myself again.  The next few days will be spent visiting family and treasuring precious memories of our loved ones.  I'm counting on that and the anticipation of returning home to my beloved husband who I dread being apart from, to help refuel my creative energies.  So many good things are happening in my life right now and I have so many blessings to be thankful for.  Enough time for me being that "bump on a log" - time to move forward again!

Counted cross-stitch piece I did of my favorite photo of me and Grandpa Holm

Me with Grandpa Byrd the last time I was home to visit in November 2008.

One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.  

~ Lucille Ball

"Sisu" Means I'm Finn (Never "Finished")

The screensaver on my computer is often an interesting conversation-starter.  What is so appealing about this pile of rocks that would inspire me to look at this picture so many times on any given day?

"Monument to the Finnish sisu" on a fell in Lapland

This is a monument in the Scandinavian land of Finland that I learned about sometime in the past few years when researching some information for a family history project.  This monument to the Finnish "sisu" led me to learn a new favorite word and concept.

I have the typical American "melting pot" family heritage of a little bit of many nationalities -- French, German, English, Irish, German, Danish, and Finnish.  However, with both of my maternal great-grandparents having immigrated from the Suomussalmi area of Finland in the late 1800s and early 1900s, I'm proud to say I'm more Finn than anything.  Through dabbling in a growing genealogy hobby and building my family tree online, I've "met" several distant relatives back in Finland.  I've enjoyed their lessons to me in trying to learn the language and more about my ancestors' homeland than I ever knew about before.

"Sisu", I've learned, is the one term that sums up the culture of Finland and its people.  Finland, a sparsely populated northern European country, long under the rule of both Sweden and Russia until finally gaining independence in 1917, is not small in spirit.  Sisu means perseverance... strength of will... determination and perseverance.  And not just a passing effort of strength either.  Sisu means determination even to the point of keeping the fight when most people would have already given up in defeat.  With a tough history and the harsh winters the Finnish people have been accustomed to endure, it's no wonder that Finns naturally have such strong-willed determination.

So, back to my screensaver... why do I keep this image of this pile of rocks front and center of my daily attention?  Well, I must say I'm juggling a lot of big projects and responsibilities these days.  Everything seems equally critical and important and high in priority, screaming for immediate attention.  There are many days where often it feels like there's just not enough of me to go around.  It can be discouraging and it's often tempting to just give up... tempting to just look for something easier.

The Sisu monument picture serves as a good reminder to me to not give up... to keep persevering.  The results will be worth it in the end if I just keep trying.

So, today I leave you with these seeds of joyful thought and encouragement.   After all, I'm Finn - never finished!

Please share with us what keeps you motivated to persevere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.  

~Author Unknown

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired 

of doing the hard work you already did.  

~Newt Gingrich

Stubbornly persist, and you will find that the limits of your stubbornness 

go well beyond the stubbornness of your limits.  

~Robert Brault

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.  

~Author Unknown

As a means to success, determination has this advantage over talent - 

that it does not have to be recognized by others.  

~Robert Brault

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.  

~William Feather

Sunday Evening Blues

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. ~Albert Einstein

I have to admit... the Sunday evening blues have set in again in my mind.  It always seems to happen to me around this time on a Sunday evening.  My husband and I have enjoyed another lovely weekend together and Monday morning looms on the horizon.  There's still so much we want to do, as well as just rest and relax, but alas... time always seems to slip away so quickly.

There are so many thoughts in my head that I find myself struggling to make sense of and sort out.  It's very tempting to lament over everything undone and everything I had hoped to "get around to" do or experience.  It's all just so tempting to fall into a negative way of thinking, but I recently wrote about choosing not to avoid having the lizard brain again and am committed to watching my words and thoughts.

Paul Foreman continues to capture my attention through his great blog posts and mind maps.  This particular blog post gives some great insight into 100 ways to rise above negativity.

Mr. Foreman has captured some great thoughts and suggestions here.  Surely there's something in his writings we can latch on to and rise above any moments of melancholy.  After all, joy and happiness tend to be right underneath our nose on any given day, ready to be found if we'll just take the time to look.

So, I challenge you to be a positive rebel today!  Share with us ways you've found to rise above the blues to a more positive way of thinking and feeling.

No more lizard brain for me!

Seth Godin wrote a recent blog post that hit me right between the eyes.  He was so right about the "lizard brain" speaking up, constantly sending us on that downward spiral of thinking about not having any good ideas, followed by not having enough time.  When you come right down to it, it's our choice of whether or not we are going to let the resistance win.

I must admit that I struggle with procrastination often.  Sometimes things just seem so overwhelming and I really am not sure of where to start.  Perfectionism reduces me to frequent "all-or-nothing" thinking.  What's underneath all that isn't pretty... fear of failure and fear of not having anything worthwhile to say or share.  Being a very detailed-oriented person, it's often easy to get caught in the weeds.

This year it's my goal to consistently break myself out of this grid-lock.  There are ideas and stories inside of me just screaming to get out.  My husband and I even recently launched a second blog about Pomegranate Janet ... a fictitious comic strip about amusing thoughts and happenings along a journey of weight loss and fitness.  Now not only am I stretching myself with the written word, but also now forcing myself to pick up my pencils and sketchpad again and just draw.  Seth Godin sure got it right... "... don't tell me you don't have any good ideas."  No more lizard brain for me!

A Favorite Childhood Toy

As the sun colors flowers, so does art color life. ~ John Lubbock 

It's a cool winter's day outside and a long workweek lies ahead.  I'm finding myself thinking back to another lovely day a few months ago where it was just heavenly being out in the fall Florida sunshine.  If you ever find yourself in Orlando in mid-November, you simply must check out Disney's Festival of the Masters event in Downtown Disney.  The 35th annual festival was the most recent one we took in, and it was the 4th year in a row we've been.  It's become a fond tradition for us to go wander about the hundreds of artisan exhibits strewn about the complex on what always seems to turn into a perfect autumn day.

2011 Festival of the Masters at Downtown Disney in Orlando, FL

Since the first year we visited the Festival, I've had my eye on this artist's incredible kaleidoscope creations.  Not only are they exquisite pieces of art, they're simply breathtaking.  I could easily pass hours and hours staring at all the color combinations these scopes create.  My sweet husband gave me one as a gift on this last visit and I've been enjoying it immensely.

Here I am pictured with the artist from Kaleidovisions
who created my single scope creation from curly maple wood.

What's so special about a tube of mirrors and a handful of small trinkets?  Wikipedia has a great account of how kaleidoscopes were developed.  Like so many things in life, it came about not as a result of direct intention, but as a happy coincidence of work on something else.  I love what the word "kaleidoscope" means in the Ancient Greek... "observer of beautiful forms."  They always make me think back to one of my favorite childhood toys... a simple kaleidoscope made of a cardboard tube and pieces of colored plastic in the scope.  It was a basic model for sure, but still brought me hours of enjoyment.

As I've been playing with my new toy, I've tried combining my interest in photography to capture some of these amazingly beautiful images.  Here are a few I hope you'll enjoy.

And lastly, just for fun... try out this online Kaleidoscope Painter for yourself.  It's great fun and stress relief to take a few moments to focus on those "beautiful forms."

On this cool winter's day when a bit of winter gloom hangs in the air, thoughts of these colorful images bring a bit more warmth to my mind.

Tell me about one of your most favorite childhood toys that brought you great joy.

A multitude of small delights constitute happiness. ~ Charles Baudelaire 

Have You Ever Stopped to Think...

... and forget to start again?  Or so, the funny saying goes.

Operations of thought are like cavalry charges in a battle -- they are strictly limited in number, they require fresh horses, and must only be made at decisive moments. ~ Whitehead 

Well, I made it through the first week back in the office after the holidays somehow.  This weekend has been a good time to pause and reflect on things.  Life passes so quickly and if we're not careful, it's easy to let life pass us by altogether.  So, as I enjoy the last bit of our wonderful weekend which has been quite enjoyable, I'm conserving my energy and beginning to rally the troops (in my head) to secure those fresh horses.  Like the New Year, tomorrow is another day and a new week to make things happen. There are challenges ahead and I'm thankful to God above for giving me the gumption to try and rise to the task.   As I think Teddy Roosevelt once said in his Rough-Riders days... "CHARGE!!!!"

Have a great week everyone!

Trying to Find My Own Voice

To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard. ~ Allen Ginsberg 

It's time for me to just write, write, write.... who cares who reads, right?!

Well, I still care who reads.  And I care how I come across to others.  But at the same time I feel paralyzed sometimes, waiting for that perfect moment or perfect situation to describe.  Tonight I sit on my balcony looking out on the canal leading out to Old Tampa Bay - knowing how very many opportunities I've let go by without even trying to find my own voice.  The perfect moment in our minds often is always in the future.  How many "perfect moments do we disregard by not taking advantage of the perfect moment that really already is at hand?

I fear I have let many opportunities slip by.  So may blessings have befallen me and I've been numb to that own special voice rising up within me.  No more!  It's time to set things in motion again and start talking about this daily joy that is to be found.  Thanks to my Hubby who has given me some special tools to help me be more productive on the go too.  I am so blessed!

If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. ~ Charlie Parker (Two and a Half Men)