Getting Unstuck

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you accomplished absolutely nothing, regardless of how busy you stayed all day long? I've been having a lot of those days so far in 2016 and I often find myself wishing there was a reset button I could push for this year. A simple desk calendar is the most recent reminder of one of many reasons I've been feeling just plain STUCK lately.

March 25th... it's now a month later and my desk calendar is still stuck on that date. Why haven't I taken the 2 seconds to change the date at least one day since that day? Unfortunately that was the date I got the news that my father had suddenly passed away. I must admit there's been little time to take to deal with the shock, let alone to fully process my grief. For some reason, changing the date seems like it would be disrespecting Dad.

I've been stuck on this day for a while now even though comforted by thoughts from my co-workers.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong. ~ Mandy Hale

A few days ago I actually found another paper calendar in my cubicle that needed changing. After realizing well over half the month had already passed, it gave me a great sense of satisfaction to finally turn the page and get myself a little more up-to-date. Suddenly I felt myself able to focus better and to make some progress with the planning activities I had been struggling with. It made me start thinking about finding more ways that might help me get unstuck.

Tara Sophia Mohr shared several great ideas in her article "16 Ways to Get Unstuck." I decided to try out the very first suggestion on her list - finding reasons why a situation is just perfect. The thought that your mind will figure out how if you point it in the right direction just intrigued me. She suggested thinking "This situation is just perfect because..." and then list 5 reasons why. So I tried it, and surprisingly as time went on during my day, I found myself thinking of more than 5 reasons why I found some good things from my Dad's passing. Here are the top reasons that came to mind that are now helping me to get unstuck and begin to process the grief from my Dad's death:

• Through all this, my "baby sister" has risen to new heights and shown what a strong woman she's become while being the point person for most of Dad's final arrangements and tying up so many loose ends. She's shown a new strength I've never seen in her and makes me so proud.
• My sister and I are even closer as we're supporting each other dealing with the challenging situations Dad left behind that need to be addressed.That's a good thing since we live over 700 miles apart and often get caught up in our own lives.
• My husband and I - already extremely close - are even closer. He's been so incredibly supportive and loving as he's tried to comfort me and my sister as we are overwhelmed with settling everything. I couldn't love him more or ask for a better partner in life.
• I've actually cut myself some slack and am continuing to convince myself that it's OK not to be perfect or to not be able to do everything. That's so unlike this "Type A" person I am, but it's helping me manage my stress better.
• I'm even more aware of the importance of getting my own affairs in order sooner than later - even if it's just a little bit at a time. 

My list kept expanding as I thought about some unexpected benefits of my sudden trip home too - like being able to see the beauty of another East Tennessee spring, catching up with family members and a few of my closest girlfriends that came to the funeral or to visit while I was home, and being grateful for help and support from several unexpected folks too. It's amazing how much better a change in perspective did to help me feel like I can now begin to move forward.

Let's go back to my desk calendar and that specific date. March 25th also happens to be my uncle's birthday, so there will always be good in that day. There's no superstition in that date that should keep me stuck there. I love my Dad and will always cherish his memory. It's time to embrace the change and the growth to come. It's time to get unstuck! Maybe my creativity will return more as a result too. One can hope!

It's just one small step changing March to April, but I'm moving forward again!

"Sisu" Means I'm Finn (Never "Finished")

The screensaver on my computer is often an interesting conversation-starter.  What is so appealing about this pile of rocks that would inspire me to look at this picture so many times on any given day?

"Monument to the Finnish sisu" on a fell in Lapland

This is a monument in the Scandinavian land of Finland that I learned about sometime in the past few years when researching some information for a family history project.  This monument to the Finnish "sisu" led me to learn a new favorite word and concept.

I have the typical American "melting pot" family heritage of a little bit of many nationalities -- French, German, English, Irish, German, Danish, and Finnish.  However, with both of my maternal great-grandparents having immigrated from the Suomussalmi area of Finland in the late 1800s and early 1900s, I'm proud to say I'm more Finn than anything.  Through dabbling in a growing genealogy hobby and building my family tree online, I've "met" several distant relatives back in Finland.  I've enjoyed their lessons to me in trying to learn the language and more about my ancestors' homeland than I ever knew about before.

"Sisu", I've learned, is the one term that sums up the culture of Finland and its people.  Finland, a sparsely populated northern European country, long under the rule of both Sweden and Russia until finally gaining independence in 1917, is not small in spirit.  Sisu means perseverance... strength of will... determination and perseverance.  And not just a passing effort of strength either.  Sisu means determination even to the point of keeping the fight when most people would have already given up in defeat.  With a tough history and the harsh winters the Finnish people have been accustomed to endure, it's no wonder that Finns naturally have such strong-willed determination.

So, back to my screensaver... why do I keep this image of this pile of rocks front and center of my daily attention?  Well, I must say I'm juggling a lot of big projects and responsibilities these days.  Everything seems equally critical and important and high in priority, screaming for immediate attention.  There are many days where often it feels like there's just not enough of me to go around.  It can be discouraging and it's often tempting to just give up... tempting to just look for something easier.

The Sisu monument picture serves as a good reminder to me to not give up... to keep persevering.  The results will be worth it in the end if I just keep trying.

So, today I leave you with these seeds of joyful thought and encouragement.   After all, I'm Finn - never finished!

Please share with us what keeps you motivated to persevere.

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The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.  

~Author Unknown

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired 

of doing the hard work you already did.  

~Newt Gingrich

Stubbornly persist, and you will find that the limits of your stubbornness 

go well beyond the stubbornness of your limits.  

~Robert Brault

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.  

~Author Unknown

As a means to success, determination has this advantage over talent - 

that it does not have to be recognized by others.  

~Robert Brault

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.  

~William Feather

Sunday Evening Blues

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. ~Albert Einstein

I have to admit... the Sunday evening blues have set in again in my mind.  It always seems to happen to me around this time on a Sunday evening.  My husband and I have enjoyed another lovely weekend together and Monday morning looms on the horizon.  There's still so much we want to do, as well as just rest and relax, but alas... time always seems to slip away so quickly.

There are so many thoughts in my head that I find myself struggling to make sense of and sort out.  It's very tempting to lament over everything undone and everything I had hoped to "get around to" do or experience.  It's all just so tempting to fall into a negative way of thinking, but I recently wrote about choosing not to avoid having the lizard brain again and am committed to watching my words and thoughts.

Paul Foreman continues to capture my attention through his great blog posts and mind maps.  This particular blog post gives some great insight into 100 ways to rise above negativity.

Mr. Foreman has captured some great thoughts and suggestions here.  Surely there's something in his writings we can latch on to and rise above any moments of melancholy.  After all, joy and happiness tend to be right underneath our nose on any given day, ready to be found if we'll just take the time to look.

So, I challenge you to be a positive rebel today!  Share with us ways you've found to rise above the blues to a more positive way of thinking and feeling.