Getting Unstuck

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you accomplished absolutely nothing, regardless of how busy you stayed all day long? I've been having a lot of those days so far in 2016 and I often find myself wishing there was a reset button I could push for this year. A simple desk calendar is the most recent reminder of one of many reasons I've been feeling just plain STUCK lately.

March 25th... it's now a month later and my desk calendar is still stuck on that date. Why haven't I taken the 2 seconds to change the date at least one day since that day? Unfortunately that was the date I got the news that my father had suddenly passed away. I must admit there's been little time to take to deal with the shock, let alone to fully process my grief. For some reason, changing the date seems like it would be disrespecting Dad.

I've been stuck on this day for a while now even though comforted by thoughts from my co-workers.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong. ~ Mandy Hale

A few days ago I actually found another paper calendar in my cubicle that needed changing. After realizing well over half the month had already passed, it gave me a great sense of satisfaction to finally turn the page and get myself a little more up-to-date. Suddenly I felt myself able to focus better and to make some progress with the planning activities I had been struggling with. It made me start thinking about finding more ways that might help me get unstuck.

Tara Sophia Mohr shared several great ideas in her article "16 Ways to Get Unstuck." I decided to try out the very first suggestion on her list - finding reasons why a situation is just perfect. The thought that your mind will figure out how if you point it in the right direction just intrigued me. She suggested thinking "This situation is just perfect because..." and then list 5 reasons why. So I tried it, and surprisingly as time went on during my day, I found myself thinking of more than 5 reasons why I found some good things from my Dad's passing. Here are the top reasons that came to mind that are now helping me to get unstuck and begin to process the grief from my Dad's death:

• Through all this, my "baby sister" has risen to new heights and shown what a strong woman she's become while being the point person for most of Dad's final arrangements and tying up so many loose ends. She's shown a new strength I've never seen in her and makes me so proud.
• My sister and I are even closer as we're supporting each other dealing with the challenging situations Dad left behind that need to be addressed.That's a good thing since we live over 700 miles apart and often get caught up in our own lives.
• My husband and I - already extremely close - are even closer. He's been so incredibly supportive and loving as he's tried to comfort me and my sister as we are overwhelmed with settling everything. I couldn't love him more or ask for a better partner in life.
• I've actually cut myself some slack and am continuing to convince myself that it's OK not to be perfect or to not be able to do everything. That's so unlike this "Type A" person I am, but it's helping me manage my stress better.
• I'm even more aware of the importance of getting my own affairs in order sooner than later - even if it's just a little bit at a time. 

My list kept expanding as I thought about some unexpected benefits of my sudden trip home too - like being able to see the beauty of another East Tennessee spring, catching up with family members and a few of my closest girlfriends that came to the funeral or to visit while I was home, and being grateful for help and support from several unexpected folks too. It's amazing how much better a change in perspective did to help me feel like I can now begin to move forward.

Let's go back to my desk calendar and that specific date. March 25th also happens to be my uncle's birthday, so there will always be good in that day. There's no superstition in that date that should keep me stuck there. I love my Dad and will always cherish his memory. It's time to embrace the change and the growth to come. It's time to get unstuck! Maybe my creativity will return more as a result too. One can hope!

It's just one small step changing March to April, but I'm moving forward again!

Wake-Up Calls

This is an adaptation of my 6th speech project delivered to Jabil Toastmasters on August 26, 2014.  The goal of this speech project was to use vocal variety.

7 out of 10 speech projects done now.. getting closer to completing my Toastmasters' CC!

Sometime ago a college student had just completed her studies and moved away from home for the very first time.  She was FINALLY on her own, free to be herself and become a grown-up.  How EXCITING!!

The scenario keeps playing out.  True, she had her own place and could start calling her own shots.  She should have been ecstatic because it was the freedom she had been looking forward to her WHOLE life.

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But, adulthood realities and pressures were quickly realized as well.  Along with that new space came her first full-time job.  It wasn't an easy job either.  They had hired her to clean up a mess because they knew she could.  Before long though, extended workdays took their toll.  She was EXHAUSTED.  Morning after morning she endlessly found herself barely able to crawl out of bed.

Sleep, precious sleep - how comforting and restful!

But then would come the rude awakening... BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP!  Imagine the most ANNOYING sound that just won't stop.  She prayed, "Oh God, please just let me sleep for 10 more minutes!"  Each time she would roll over and stretch to hit the snooze button.  SMACK!

But the annoying sound wouldn't stop.  It was the sound of her neighbor's alarm clock blaring through paper-thin walls after he had already left for the day.  No matter how many times she smacked her alarm clock, she finally realized the annoying sound wouldn't end any time soon.  She might as well drag herself out fo bed and face the day ahead.
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Have you ever experienced a rude awaking?  It's not fun, is it?  Fellow readers, the girl in that scenario was me.  Even now whenever I hear an alarm clock with a similar tone, I vividly remember the sensations of that harsh wake-up call.  Instantly I cringe and want to bury my head under the pillow.

I'd rather have a more pleasant wake-up call -- like those on Christmas morning when I was a kid.  After staying up late playing games on Christmas Eve it was all I could do to convince my baby sister to go to bed.  Throughout the night she'd constantly wake up and ask if Santa had come yet.  At the break of dawn, no longer able to contain her excitement, she would shake me awake and shout "He came! He came!  The stockings are full!  Let's go wake up Mom and Dad so we can open presents!"

Ladies and gentlemen, wake-up calls come at each end of the spectrum and every point in between.  Some are more gradual with increased awareness over time.  Others smack you between the eyes and immediately get your attention.  In all cases, these events wake us up to elements of life that may need change or should not be missed.

What's YOUR wake-up call?
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I receive wake-up calls quite often.  Recently I was chatting with a co-worker who said he noticed me often walking quickly down the hall past his office, looking very stressed.  OH NO!  He reminded me of all the times I've told myself that I would never let stress overtake me to that point again.  In my last job, I lulled myself into sleep due to stress.  In an effort to try and be everything for everybody, that often translated into working late, skipping lunch or a workout, and bringing tons of work home.  I started noticing people avoid approaching me for help because they didn't want to make me more stressed.  It was a gradual wake-up call, but I realized things had to change.  I didn't want to life my life with barriers between myself and others.  At the first available opportunity I changed jobs and looked forward to a fresh start.

Fast forward to another call that jolted me awake when I started this job.  High stress levels also physically took a toll on me.  Knee pain and "pin and needle" sensations in my feet as I walked became a new pesky problems.  One morning I stepped on the scale and was SHOCKED to see the display.  How in the world had I let myself get in such poor health?!?!?!  I've NEVER weighed that much before!

Weight is a sensitive topic and what's heavy for one person is lighter for another.  But relatively speaking I woke up suddenly finding myself in the worst physical shape ever.  I quickly realized that things would only get worse if I didn't do something IMMEDIATELY.  Without delay I remedied the situation.  Through mindful diet and exercise improvements over a 2-year period I ultimately shed over 50 pounds from my frame and felt MUCH better and more motivated to stay take care of my health.
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I leave you with this thought today:  don't wait until the wake-up call in your life screams so loudly that you are rudely awakened.  Be mindful.  Be alert.  Know your triggers - both the sudden and the gradual ones.  Heed your wake-up calls and act while you can.

Water is Life

     I bet there’s something very special about living in Tampa Bay many people don’t realize. Even if they drive across any one of our bay-side bridges every day, I bet they still don’t realize this simple truth.  But that’s OK. Someone else had to point it out to me too.

Moon Rising Over Old Tampa Bay

     One evening I sat with my husband on our favorite bench overlooking Old Tampa Bay. The sun was setting, casting gorgeous hues of gold, orange, red, and pink all over the buildings of the condo complex where we live. We relaxed after a hard day of stressful work, watching the moon rise above the Bay and the lights of Tampa come up on the horizon in front of us. Then my husband says, “Do you realize with the right vessel, we could go just about anywhere in the world we want to go RIGHT FROM THIS VERY POINT?!” WOW! Water opens up all sorts of possibilities when you take the time to reflect!
     Water has always been an important element to me. I've been fascinated with it since before I can even remember. My mother LOVES to tell how I would react as a toddler any time we would pass a body of water. I would excitedly exclaim and point, “Look, Mom! Look at the wateeeeeee!” Growing up in East Tennessee and taking summer trips to northern Minnesota provided plenty of opportunities for these sightings. Water’s influence on my life was further solidified by being raised as a Southern Baptist in the Bible-belt. There was no sprinkling for me. No sir, I was DUNKED!!

Photo taken from our patio BEFORE a big storm

    In The Notebook Nicholas Sparks wrote “It is life, I think, to watch the water. A man can learn so many things.” What has water taught me? Sparks was right – so many things. Today I want to share a few of those insights around pitch, pace, and perspective.

PITCH

     I’m a musician at heart. With piano and trumpet as my instruments of choice, music has always set an important tone in my life. Different pitches always tickle my ears. Water sings in ranges from soothing and whimsical to frightening and ferocious - from high to low and anywhere in between. Many times I've drifted off in peaceful sleep listening to a gentle rain patter against a tin roof or against the windowsill. Seashells caught in the surf and spilling onto the shore often remind me of playful laughter. Hurricane-force gales have frightened me to wonder if our house might cave in. We learn from both the ups and downs we experience. It’s up to us to stop long enough and listen to the sounds around us.

Photo taken from our patio DURING a big storm

PACE

     Water doesn't stand still, does it? Not unless it’s frozen! Memories of an Ocoee River rafting trip provides a great illustration of life’s pace. At the start of the trip I climbed into the raft with the rest of my friends, nervously hanging onto my paddle as we waited for instruction from our Guide. Off we went as we paddled into the river and picked up the current. A small rapid early in the trip built up excitement for the rest of the ride ahead. Then came the hard work as the current slowed and our Guide kept coaching us to row hard. He must have known we were discouraged when he pointed out a large hawk perched high up in a pine tree alongside the water for a change of pace. Just when we had stopped rowing and were squinting our eyes towards the treetops, we lunged into a larger set of rapids. We paddled even faster until we pulled through on the other side. Afterwards we heard the Guide laughing at us, “That spot, folks, was the ‘Gotcha Rapids!” My favorite part of the whole trip was when we jumped out of the raft and floated along quietly. That little bit of peacefulness wouldn't have been nearly as sweet without those other defining moments however.
     Isn't life like that rafting trip? At some points we cautiously take steps leading in one direction. Prolonged hard work without reward may leave us discouraged. Just when we think we’re making progress - something unexpected happens. In between those difficult moments, there are sweet times to enjoy where we just float along - happy and content, or exhilarated by the accomplishment of finishing the ride.

PERSPECTIVE

     Water’s lessons around perspective resonate the loudest for me. Water cannot be created or destroyed, but merely changes form. Think about a lake. If that lake is in Minnesota, it’s a great place for swimming and fun during the summer. Turn the calendar to January and you’ll see a very different picture. More often than not you’ll see trucks driving out onto that same lake to an ice fishing house that brave person set up. It’s the same lake. It’s the same water in that lake. But the form has changed.
     Have you ever known two different individuals facing a similar situation that react very differently? What makes one person react positively and another negatively? Proactively versus re-actively? What we experience in life often depends upon our perspective.
     The flow of life, like water, is often what you make of it. Think of an old-fashioned hand water pump. Old pumps can require much pumping effort to get the water flowing. Sometimes, our grandparents may have had to “prime the pump” first by pouring water into the well to get it flowing again. Life is no different. The best things in life often require putting in a little extra effort to realize the best results.

     Considering 11% of the world’s population doesn't have access to safe water, it’s obvious that clean water is a precious commodity. Today, think of water as if it were life. Just as dropping a stone into still water causes an expanding ripple, remember your actions have implications to those around you. Life itself is just as precious. Find the element that speaks to you and learn from the lessons it will teach you.

Our Tin Cup Chalices enjoy sunset at the Sandpearl Resort sometimes too

No Safety Nets

This is an adaptation of my 3rd speech project delivered to Jabil Toastmasters on February 7, 2013.  This represented a HUGE personal accomplishment for me.  
I'm still addicted... but gratefully I'm now no longer stuck!

On my way to achieving my Toastmasters Competent Communicator Certification!

     You may not know this just by looking at me... but I'm an addict.  There is something out there that captures my attention so intensely, I struggle to break free.  I can imagine your shocked expression - you're wondering about the source of my addiction.  Is it crack?  Cocaine?  Gambling, maybe?  No -- it isn't as serious as that.  I'm addicted to the written word and I often use it as a safety net.

     I recently joined the Toastmasters club at my current employer and I sailed through my first two speech projects.  I must confess that I cheated somewhat though.  Ten years ago I was part of another local Toastmasters club.  It was easier for me to recycle those first two speeches than it was for me start over from scratch.  I ran into a brick wall ten years ago and it happened again this time.  My biggest challenge with this particular project was to deliver my speech without using any notes.  That unnerved me then and it still did now.

     This time I wanted things to be different.  I was determined to face my fear head on and push through.  No more safety nets!  This project really opened my eyes to some of the "safety nets" in my life and how they limit me.

      What are my safety nets?  The first example I showed the Toastmasters crowd was a bulky binder of my daily planner pages from 2009 - my first full year employed at my current company.  I highlighted that I had six more binders like that back in my cube and even more collecting dust in a bookcase at home.  One of my most obvious safety nets is a drive to take copious notes in all sorts of situations.  Call me a scribe or maybe even a historian.  I love it when someone tells me I have a mind like a "steel trap" or can help set a record straight.  I flagged an entry in that 2009 binder that documented a conversation with a colleague about a potential project in the Ukraine.  Ironically, at this moment she and I are planning again how to support this site.  Did I need these notes to remind me of the situation?  No.  But at that time in 2009 I evidently felt the need to document everything!

     Spreadsheets are another one of my safety nets.  Some people speak a foreign language, but I speak Excel.  I'm not very comfortable adding up things in my head.  It's easier for me to let the spreadsheet do the math for me.  But, they're not fool-proof.  Often I find myself in meetings with senior leaders and they start talking "what if" scenarios and all types of financial jargon.  They think and talk in numbers, often at the same time and without the assistance of a calculator.  Keeping up with that type of thought process challenges me. Spreadsheets make it easier for me.  Unfortunately just as with my copious notes - they can make me lazy too.
     I'm just much more comfortable with the written word.  The habit of writing over speaking has become just that for me - a habit.  There's something therapeutic to me to see handwriting fill up a blank page.  Email is easier because I can pause to better compose my thoughts.  But unfortunately I'm beginning to notice how being so focused on writing sometimes causes me to "check out" of the moment.  Am I really present, truly listening to my audience?  Often not.
     I've thought long and hard about why removing some of my safety nets unnerves me so much.  It all comes down to one simple fact - I'm a perfectionist.  I don't want to forget an important detail or action item.  I want to be able to "figure it out" or to keep up with the thoughts and directions of others.  I fear messing up or letting people down when it really counts.
     Perfectionism can be good - it drives me to excel and perform well.  However, perfectionism can also be paralyzing.  What am I doing about the negative aspects of my perfectionism?  For one, Toastmasters is helping me step outside of my comfort zones.  Toastmasters is a learning forum where many members share working on the same challenges in a safe environment.  Involvement in this organization has helped me to begin relying less on my safety nets.
     I'm also becoming more aware of positive examples other people set.  Have you ever heard of Tony Hsieh?  No?!  Let me rephrase the question for the fashionista in you.  Do you like a great pair of shoes and have heard of a company called Zappos?  I thought so.  Tony Hsieh (pronounced Shay) is the founder and CEO of Zappos.  I heard him speak at the 2011 HR Florida State Conference and found him to be a dynamic and motivating speaker.  He certainly wasn't leaning heavily on any notes or even a teleprompter during his speech.  He captivates his audience by sharing how Zappos strives to deliver a culture of happiness among its employees and customers.
     Hsieh was recently featured in an interview in Toastmasters Magazine.  He shared several thoughts that made me aware I am not alone in being addicted to the written word.  Hsieh started his public speaking career in a similar fashion as I have... painstakingly writing out scripts and memorizing speeches.  His skills gradually improved over time until he suddenly realized something.  It finally occurred to him that nobody knew what he wrote in his scripts or if he skipped over a paragraph or sentence.  From that point he was able to better engage his audience by telling personal stories supporting his message.
     That encourages me because I'm always looking for ways to improve.  I will always have safety nets for sure.  (My beloved husband laughs hilariously every time I tell him I'm setting a goal to go paperless).  Over time though, I hope to make my safety nets smaller and less obvious.  Hsieh's simple 3-point formula is a big help for me to remember where public speaking is concerned:

1. Be passionate.
2. Tell personal stories.
3. Be real.

If Hsieh can overcome his written word addiction, so can I.  I'm growing faster and realizing new-found freedom when I rely less on my safety nets.  I'm finding more self-confidence and am better engaging my audience by truly listening more.  These small changes are helping me confidently prepare to overcome the next round of obstacles.  I look forward to you and others joining me along the way!

Freedom in Creativity

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.  ~ Thomas Merton

Time passes by so quickly and I've been so delinquent in my writing habit -- I'd like to try and get more in the practice again before the end of 2012, so here goes.

   

In November we returned home from our annual visit to Festival of the Masters that is always held in Downtown Disney in Orlando.  As always, we find it inspiring to attend this event and witness all the creativity displayed by the many artists showcasing their works there.  This year was no disappointment.

My own creation at the hands-on exhibit sponsored by Michael's

This year the Festival fell over the Veteran's Day weekend.  Of course, this holiday is a time to honor and thank the veterans who proudly served to fight for the freedoms we often take for granted.  It seems to me that the timing of this year's Festival was very appropriate.  In my humble opinion, artistic expression is one of those many freedoms we have been blessed with being able to enjoy.  And isn't it common that the artist himself can find freedom in exercising their very art?

I was reminded of that phenomenon this year while talking to a few of the Festival's artists whose work caught our eye the most.  Royal Woods showed that keen curiosity as he demonstrated to the crowd how his intricate wooden puzzle boxes work when he said, "I woke up in the middle of the night one night and asked myself, 'Self, do drawers always HAVE to be square?'"  He went on to say he hasn't built a square drawer since then and prided himself in showing off the complexities built into his beautiful woodwork creations.

       

Last year we purchased a beautiful purple heart canary-wood drum from Michael and Joah Thiele from Hardwood Music and were pleased to see them at the Festival again this year.  It's always inspiring to hear how the father-son duo jointly custom-build these beautiful wooden musical instruments.  As I was intently admiring the beautiful coffee table drum furniture piece they had made, Joah told me about a new manufacturing process his father started using this year.  It essentially allows them to put any type of wood on the face of the furniture face while still using the type of wood underneath that generates such a rich, melodious sound when played.  The musical coffee table of theirs is a true work of art I'd love to be able to afford some day.  I can easily imagine the fun and enjoyment we'd have creating our own melodies depending on whatever mood we found ourselves in.

We were thankful to start this special weekend taking in the "La Nouba" show at Cirque du Soleil.  It truly was a treat to forget reality for a short period of time and totally be lost in the unique and acrobatic performances.  It's hard not to want to learn to do something new and creative of your own after seeing all this talent of others.  I have a strange urge to look into realizing a crazy dream of mine now to one day try to be a trapeze artist and gracefully fly through the air.  (Those of you who know me well, are probably laughing hysterically at that comment!)

    

I truly am grateful for the sacrifices others have made so that I may freely enjoy creative venues such as what is displayed each year at the Festival of the Masters.  I may not enjoy or appreciate every form of art I see there, but I'm thankful that we are free to express ourselves in however creativity speaks to us.  I'm also thankful for my own energy levels being replenished when I enjoy and take time to appreciate what others have done and created.

Mission Accomplished!

I apologize right off... this is going to be a long blog post with a lot of pictures.  I just can't help it though.  Sunday, April 22nd was such a great day and I have so much joy to share!

A horse never runs so fast as when he has other horses to catch up and outpace. ~ Ovid

My 1st racing bib and my finisher's medal

I've taken somewhat of a hiatus in writing for the past several months.  First there were the tax returns to get done for the business and complex personal returns... compounded by more responsibilities at work and just trying to keep up with everything in general.  On top of everything, I tried to remain diligent in my running training, knowing I was committed to run the Iron Girl race in Clearwater Beach, FL on April 22nd.  It didn't help when certain co-workers scoffed at my training time, telling me I was running slow.  It was always so easy to try and make excuses why I couldn't train well either... too many meetings throwing me off schedule, the increasing Florida heat, spring allergies not letting me breathe deep enough... you name it... I could make an excuse.

Mini-me bobble-head that Hubby surprised me with for encouragement

But then the first major reminder hit me smack between the eyes over our anniversary weekend on March 3rd when my precious husband of a soul-mate surprised me with this bobble-head rendition of me.  He had diligently been taking notice of me and the efforts I had been making in my training over the past year... right down to the use of my Garmin training watch he originally bought me Christmas before last,  just as something to help me along my fitness goals.  I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting when I signed up for the Athleta Iron Girl event in Clearwater.  I guess I was looking for something just a little more external to really hold me accountable to try to improve myself... not really believing I was capable of even finishing such an endeavor to be honest.

But race day quickly approached us.  There was no backing out of it for me. The certainty of that began to sync in with me with every reminder about the event coming up and the pressure from my training not going very well.  After all, I felt slow and sluggish, with a painful kink in my neck and a stitch in my side the week before that made it uncomfortable to breathe deeply.  Then again, was that another excuse just bubbling up in my mind?

So, what was my excuse after all this?  Nothing really held a candle to it.  After all... I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR and I was invited to run as part of Team Courage as a cancer survivor.  Had I really forgotten what that really meant?  It was just melanoma, but NO... there's not a day that goes by that I don't count my lucky stars to be alive!!

The excitement was incredible watching the 1/2 marathoners start their race.

So, my training over the past few weeks had been extremely challenging.  It's hard to believe this event was already on my doorstep to start.  Now that it's a week in my rear-view mirror, it's even more difficult to comprehend.  I had so much fear and trepidation going into it.  After all, I had never done anything like this and if my last training times had anything to predict about it, I wouldn't even be able to continuously run the route.  In fact, I set the goal for myself that I would be happy if I finished (ideally) if I could run the 5k route continuously without stopping, or if I could finish the route in less than 35 minutes.  Surely I was healthy enough to accomplish one of those objectives!!

Clearwater Memorial Causeway bridge .. yep, we ran up and over that!

On race day, the excitement was incredible.  I couldn't believe Hubby was able to get me up out of bed early enough to make it to the start line.   I'm NOT a morning person, so the 7:30 start-time was definitely a challenge.  And then, I had no idea there would be another 2500 ladies running the same 5k route with me... no wonder there were so many people around!  The hardest part for me was the time just before the 1/2-marathoners started and my start-time... the time where Hubby left me to drive over to park at the finish line to wait for me and we had to be apart for a little while  Although he kept sending me text pictures of what the finished line looked like, I was just so unnerved without him being by my side.

But then, it was time to funnel myself into the chute and get this run started.  All this time of training and trying, the time to show was now.  I ended up in probably the back 1/4th of the runners starting out, so it took me a while to get to the starting line after the race kicked off... there were just soooooo many people!  But, I kept making my way forward, and I kept passing more and more ladies as I kept running the route.  Actually the crowd helped me keep my pace at a pace that was appropriate for me.  I ended up finished the route in 33 minutes and  50 seconds... and I only had to stop once at the top of Clearwater Memorial Causeway bridge when I took a puff off my asthma inhaler.  Hubby was waiting for me at the finish line, but bless his heart he missed seeing me cross since there were so many of us.  Still, I'll never forget it... the good Lord helped me see him right off as I crossed the line and I was able to sidle up to him and touch his hand as he looked for me.  The look on his face with recognition and relief is something I'll remember forever.  I'm so very thankful for all the people who have encouraged me to go after this objective along this endeavor along the way, especially my husband.

Hubby found me after I crossed the finish line at Clearwater Beach!

After the race, we walked to the Sandpearl to enjoy the amenities and just to hang out.  We started to notice a group of people piling up a mound of sand.  You know, in Pinellas County, we tend to convey messages in the form of sand sculptures.  I suppose this is what all that activity turned out to mean.

After the race we hung out in the members' loft at the Sandpearl.  The rain poured down right after we got settled in our hide-a-way.  It led to great conversation time about all I had seen along the way (including the mother/daughter team dressed as Wonder Woman to all the great ladies I saw along the way), as well as the great people who stopped to cheer us along as we ran the route.  I was very grateful to my friends and family following up on my progress.

Chatting afterwards with all my friends and family who were sending me such encouraging words!

So, this past week has been a very long one with a lot of stress.  Thinking back on it, I still can't believe that I did this major milestone.  I've caught myself thinking back to several moments along the way and continued to draw strength and encouragement from it.  I know that I wouldn't be able to have done this without my incredibly supportive spouse who is my best friend.  I'm so blessed to have had such support as I've prepared to take on this challenge!

Me with the best coach ever...and also the love of my life!

There was no one I'd rather have shared this moment of accomplishment with though.  I'm definitely feeling a lot of confidence that I didn't feel before and am feeling strangely confident in areas I felt insecure before.  Even with the little bit of training I got in this past week, I even got to the point of just running to enjoy running... with this beautiful springtime Florida weather, how could I not?!  Feeling strong and positive about the world around me does indeed help me to feel more like an Iron Girl!

I am Iron Girl!!  :-)

A Life-long Obsession With Water

I believe I have had a life-long obsession with water.  From the babbling rivers and streams of the Appalachian mountains and the tranquil lakes of Minnesota I knew growing up, to the beautiful Gulf Coast shores of Western Central Florida I enjoy so much today as an adult -- it's no small wonder that water brings me such joy.

Air moves us; Fire transforms us; Water shapes us; Earth heals us. ~ Wiccan 

Clearwater Beach, Florida and another amazing sunset

Today Hubby and I spent some time at the beach at our favorite hangout at the Sandpearl Resort in Clearwater.  It's become our favorite Sunday thing-to-do... church-time at our Chapel by the Sea, and then time at the beach after service.  We've missed our usual routine the past few weeks, so today was nice to get back in our normal swing.

Sitting there today, soaking up the sunshine, made me think about how much I LOVE being close to water.  It had to have started from the time I was a toddler.  My mom loves to tell me the story of any time I'd get so excited when we'd pass a river or lake on our travels... "Mom, look at the waaaa-ttteeeee!!!!!!"  I just couldn't seem to be distracted from my fascination from whatever body of water we just passed.  And then there were my daydreams I'd fancy to myself when we'd rent the beach house in Emerald Isle, NC with the family each year... full of romantic moonlight strolls down the beach with my man...  What a wonderful realization that my best day-dreams are now a reality in the loving relationship I share with my husband.  I'm such a lucky, lucky girl!

But it has made me think even more about my fascination with water.  It is one of the classic elements.  Does "water" fit me though?  I'd say as I read more, that's a resounding "YES".. it sure explains a lot about me! Ironically, I took one of those crazy online tests and found my "classic element" was indeed "water"... Hubby's element was "earth", so no wonder we LOVE being close to the beach!

So find out what your classic element is -- wind, earth, water or fire?

Through Ups and Downs Keep Pressing On

So far 2012 is off to a great start for us already and I find myself making the usual updates to my health and fitness goals (among other things I hope to achieve and enjoy in the coming year).  As I look back on progress made I'm quickly reminded I've had a lot of ups and downs along the way, but am thrilled that overall positive trends continue. 

I've been on an intense wellness journey over the past 3 years especially.  Through diligent efforts of trying to loosely adhere to a Weight Watchers type of diet program on my own, combined with regular aerobic and exercise and strength training -- along with tremendous support and encouragement from my husband, I'm thrilled to be back to the weight I was back in my early college days.  Often people comment to me shock and surprise at how much weight I've managed to lose, especially those who haven't seen me in a long time or those who have just met me.  On more than one occasion lately it seems like those individuals may think these results came to me easily or quickly.  I can assure you they have not!

Food brings me great joy.  I LOVE to eat and I enjoy so many types of foods.  My husband is the best cook ever and I could eat my weight over and over enjoying all the unique and wonderful creations he comes up with.  I can't say that I wake up any day overly excited about getting in a great work-out either.   It's so easy to make excuses and let the exercise slide.  As I've been going through this wellness journey over the past several years, I've charted my weight (shown above) as a reminder to watch the overall trend and keep myself going in the right direction.  As you can see, it's not been a straight line of progress... there have been ups and downs throughout.  Clear trends also show me that my weakest point always comes at the end of the year... of course, right around the time of holidays when there's really so many  indulgences to enjoy.  If I were to go back and chart 2008, I'd see a similar pattern, although my year-end weight ended up higher than where I started the year.  How discouraging to have put in so much hard work to lose a good amount of weight and then to see it all (and then some) gained back again!  So, the overall trend-lines serve as good motivation just to keep pressing on.

So, I'm back at the effort again even now in 2012, although my goals are changing somewhat now... beginning to shift into more of a maintenance mode after losing just a bit more weight, training hard to run my first 5k race at the end of April (Athleta Iron Girl - 4/22/12 in Clearwater Beach), and striving more and more to achieve a sustainable balance in life in general.  Along the way I hope to keep encouraging those I meet to keep pursuing their own individual goals and not give up.

Size-10-me in my size-18 jeans in early 2011

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. ~Anonymous

When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." ~Anonymous  

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.  ~Newt Gingrich

I Resolve to Evolve

New Years' resolutions don't work well for me anymore.  Goal-setting and such step-by-step planning doesn't even seem to work very well for me anymore either.  Life changes to quickly and I seem to have to turn on a dime in an instant of a second in the most graceful of all manners.  

Nothing says "Happy New Year!" like fireworks

Gone are the days and New Years' Eves where I would spend countless hours pouring over my New Years' resolutions, painstakingly spelling out every last detail of how I intended to accomplish next year's goals... of course, only after subjecting myself to the appropriate berating of myself for not having accomplished all of last year's goals first.

e·volve

 [ih-volv] verb, e·volved,e·volv·ing.

1.

to develop gradually

2.

to come forth gradually into being; develop; undergo evolution

Don't get me wrong -- I consistently make plans and set goals.  Instead of all the minute details at year-end now though, I've become more of a "road map" type of gal.  I seem to have in mind more of a destination I'm seeking and have less concern about the route I take to get there.  In my lifetime of almost 40 years (yes, 2012 will be a milestone year for me), I've learned there's usually more than one way to get from Point A to Point B. For me lately, it has become more about finding the most scenic and enjoyable route to eventually get me to the same intended destination.

Point of illustration -- one of my goals always seems to be centered around weight loss and becoming more physically fit.  I've been beating myself up over the past few weeks because I've not kept to my normal exercise routine or faithfully logged all the calories I've been consuming.  After all, over the past 3 years I've dropped almost 50 pounds and toned up quite a bit... I don't want to gain it all back after going through such hard work... which is something that I've left happen to me before (although not at that significant level)!  Still, consider the time of year and I did allow myself some much-needed indulgences over vacation-time, holidays, and festivities over the past few months.  I did let my guard down a little, but when I weighed in this morning I was pleasantly surprised.  My measurements stayed consistent and I was only 4-5 pounds heavier than when I took my last full measurements at the end of August.  That's something easily remedied with our renewed efforts during the coming new year.  Sometimes you just need a slight "detour" to be able to stay on track.

So, I've enjoyed some celebrating of 2011... it was a really, really good year that I'm thankful for because of so many reasons.  God has blessed us abundantly (as always) and I stand in amazement of His bountiful blessings and love.  Where am I going in 2012?  Well, I'm still on the same track.. my same "road map" so-to-speak, trying to gradually evolve into my ideal self.  Here is who I'm prayerfully aspiring to become:

My ideal self is a positive, cheerful woman that always looks for the best in people and situations.  She recognizes gaps and challenges as opportunities to build upon and make things better.  She doesn't make excuses and she accepts responsibility for her actions.  She is confident and doesn't sell her self short.  She helps everyone around her be better people too and offers love and friendship to all that she meets and interacts with.  She is mindful and aware of all her surroundings, her energy levels, feelings, emotions and physical sensations -- always striving to make all work well together to enjoy life and each moment to the fullest.  She is forgiving of others - and herself - helping others and herself to learn from their mistakes and grow from them.  She is creative and is always learning new and interesting things.  She builds and leaves a legacy for those that come behind her.

I'm certainly not "there" yet, but I hope to move towards these lofty goals step by step.  Happy New Year everyone!  Tell me what your hopes are for 2012 and how you hope to continuously "evolve"...

Another Christmas Miracle

I must confess... this year I have found it a quite a bit more challenging to get myself into the Christmas spirit than usual.  My closest family and friends will find this absolutely shocking.  After all, I tend to listen to Christmas music all year long, although a little more infrequently than in "the season."  Heck, my name even SCREAMS Christmas cheer if you think about it.  Why did I find it so hard to get in the spirit this year?!?!

How can anyone resist Christmas lights? -- Disney's Cinderella Castle draped in lights when we visited Magic Kingdom in 2007

I must confess that I've gotten caught up in the "busyness" of everything lately and it really has weighted me down this season.  At the suggestion of Gretchin Rubin to her readers late in 2010, I picked "momentum" as my word to set the tone in 2011.  I even wrote a lengthy blog post about how I intended to use that as motivation this year.  Well, 2011 started out great... it's been an awesome year and we've managed to accomplish a lot.  But lately I've been feeling like I've run out of steam and started feeling rather "stuck."  The minutia of life sometimes just gets to overwhelming and unending.

Even after giving myself "permission" to skip the annual Christmas newsletter mailing and keeping decorations very minimal, I've still just not really felt very "Christmas-sy" until a few days ago.  One night I left work a bit later than normal.  Earlier that day I was able to get out at lunchtime to go for a run in the beautiful warm Florida December weather.  However, by the time I left my office a cool front had dramatically dropped the temperatures and brought a steady, dreary type of rain with it for the evening.  Christmas music played through my car's radio and the words to a beautiful version of "O Holy Night" really caught my attention.  The chorus kept powerfully reminding me... "the weary world rejoices..."  Imagine that... the weary world rejoices.  How hopeful is that sentiment!  Even in my most weary moment, I have so much to be thankful and hopeful for...how callous of me to forget.  Music always has a way of speaking to me and it transported me back to a few Christmas celebrations in the past where I was really in tune with the real reason for the season.

So I had to do some catching up online and it looks like Knoxville's Wallace Memorial Baptist Church's Living Christmas Tree is under construction again this year.  It brings back so many wonderful memories of a very spiritual Christmas awakening I felt one year in my earlier adulthood years on my own. 

It was my 2nd Christmas on my own as an adult and I had just moved to Knoxville, TN from Johnson City.  I became very involved in the young adult ministry at Wallace and especially in their wonderful choir and a small singing ensemble called "Cornerstone."  The Living Christmas Tree is an annual tradition at that church that is not to be missed.  I was blessed to be a part of it in 1996 when I first moved to Knoxville, singing alto in this awesome choir.  Practices for the program were intense and I was very busy then too, but for some reason I felt very in-tune with the coming Christmas season.  At the same time that season I read "Two From Galilee" by Marjorie Holmes for the first time.  It was such an amazing account of Mary and Joseph and the Christmas story, a true love story unmatched by anything I had ever read before.  There was probably more than one choir practice I was late for just because I could not put the book down.  Reading that particular account of that story made performing in the Living Christmas Tree all the more of a spiritual awakening for me.  Never will I now be able to hear the words to "Mary Did You Know" without having chills run up and down my spine.  I'll never forget singing my heart out on that 3rd bottom row of that tree (stage right), wondering if the congregation felt the miracle of the Christmas story as I felt it at that moment.

So, a few nights ago I was hoping and praying for a similar awakening like I felt so many Christmas celebrations ago.  I know my to-do list isn't going to get any shorter and there will always be work to do and that's fine.  I just needed a gentle reminder of what it is all about to empower me to keep moving forward.  I needed to become unstuck.

This morning I was blessed to get that reminder from our kids at Chapel by the Sea as they performed their own Christmas program.  From the wonderful symbolism of the advent wreath... (it dawned on me the only pink candle symbolizes "joy"... no wonder I love the color of pink), to our kids who surprised Scott and I with thoughtful gifts we weren't expecting, to the message of the program they presented....I find myself with such a happy heart tonight, learning from the children.

Santa's chair awaits behind Chapel by the Sea's advent wreath

So I'm happy to say I think I've been found by the Christmas spirit this year, although a bit later than usual for me.  Now just to transfer that positive energy to my to-do list and any work to be done, continuing that sense of momentum into the new year!  Happy holidays everyone!

Nothing Says Summer Like Fresh Produce

Hmm... what do I want to write about today?  I must say I've had quite the struggle with writers' block lately. It's hard to believe the first half of 2011 is nearly behind us now.  Tax season, business at work and our business, as well as some personal family losses since the holidays really left me feeling drained and burnt-out.  Thank goodness for several mini-vacations and short-trip getaways with my husband over the past few months.  I'm reminded of an illustration Pastor Tommy once gave during a sermon at Towering Oaks Baptist Church in Greeneville, Tennessee.  Sometimes you just have to "prime the pump" (speaking of an old-timey hand water pump) before you can expect water to come gushing from the spout.  Taking some time to rest, relax and have fun together really has done wonders to replenish energy stores and re-stoke my creative nature.  

WELCOME SUMMER!

Now that I'm feeling primed and much more energetic again, summer has arrived here in Florida.  Not that there was a drastic overnight change in temperature or atmosphere here in the Tampa Bay area... it all seems to happen gradually.  The temperatures start coming out of the occasional winter chill we have, all the flowers and trees burst into bloom, and then suddenly everything looks so green, the heat is sweltering, and the Gulf waters feel more like bath water than refreshing.  Humidity is oppressive at times and thunderstorms and heat lightening seem to be almost daily occurrences as rainy season sets in.  We're hoping at least "hurricane season" will be very quiet here again this year.

Some things seem to automatically say "Summer's here" to me.  Ironic as it sounds, fresh produce is one of those things that always seems to signal the change in seasons.  We're fortunate here in Florida to be able to get great produce year-round.  Still, there are some fruits and veggies that only seem to come "in season" at certain times, making you appreciate their return after their seasonal absence.  Those delicious edibles seem to trigger fond memories for me of happy summers from my childhood, often spent hanging out with my younger sister and daydreaming about what life would ever turn out to be.  We grew up in the city limits of an East Tennessee town and summer seemed to "officially arrive" for us when we'd drive out into the country to a produce stand or looking for a farmer selling fresh corn out of the back of his pick-up truck.  I remember groaning when my parents would buy dozens and dozens of corn on the cob and we'd end up having a "shucking party" so we could freeze much of it to enjoy later.  But the sweet reward would come after all the work and nothing tasted as good as having a few boiled ears with butter melted over them and a little bit of salt.  Even a few slices of big, beefsteak tomatoes on the side went well with the garden feast too.  Fresh, juicy peaches and watermelon slices were always enjoyed then as well.  There was a definite, distinct "taste" of summer.

Now being an adult, I can't look forward to having those few summer months off to day dream and lounge about like I used to.  At least the fresh taste of summer can still bring back those wonderful memories though. Happy summer everyone!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then followed that beautiful season... Summer...

Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; 

and the landscape lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

He Speaks to Me Everywhere

This past week has been a difficult one, but has also been a time to recharge and reconnect.  I feel recharged in my creativity and reconnected with several friends and family members.  My Heavenly Father has made Himself very real to me this week in many ways and through many interactions.  That made me remember this beautiful painting in our church.

A beautiful mural in Chapel Hall at Chapel by the Sea n Clearwater, Florida

Little did I realize that the words on this mural are actually from one of my favorite hymns.   And I just now stumbled on the story by the hymn written by Malthie D. Babcock - where he always told his wife "I'm going out to see my Father's world" as he went out for his daily morning walk.

This is my Father's world,

the birds their carols raise,

the morning light, the lily white,

declare their maker's praise.

This is my Father's world:

he shines in all that's fair;

in the rustling grass I hear him pass;

he speaks to me everywhere.

Text: Maltbie D. Babcock

Music: Trad. English melody; adapt. by Franklin L. Sheppard 

So during this past week I enjoyed some springtime scenery in East Tennessee that I've not seen in several years now that we live in sunny Florida.  Dogwoods, irises, mountains -- they were all just breathtakingly beautiful during my trip back to my hometown.  He even spoke through the terrible storms that blew all around us on April 27th and placed a hedge of protection around us when so many others were harmed by the tornadoes and high winds.

As much as I love East Tennessee and having grown up in such a lovely place, I love West Central Florida even more.  I'm so lucky to have even more beauty to return home too after last week's visit.

I have so many more pictures I could post, but suffice it to say there is so much beauty all around us - regardless where we physically are.  He speaks to me not only through nature, but through others and various situations too - if I'll only take time to listen.

Tomorrow starts another busy work-week.  It will be tempting to become so engrossed in the deadlines and the details of everything that has to be done.  I'm challenging myself to be more mindful, more aware of everything around me.  He does speak to me everywhere.  I'm going out to see my Father's world too.

Have a great week everyone!